1. |
Old Glue
03:39
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I know I seem put together these days
but the line it tends to blur
I'm still pacing around my bedroom
questioning my self worth
They say if you love yourself completely
then everything will fall into place
but between the panic and the anxiety
these shoulders carry too much weight
I’m coming apart like old glue
on an old birthday card
Toss me into the junk drawer
the constant seems to have gone too far
Exhausted my vocabulary
trying to write a better line
drowning myself in cheap metaphors
it’s the only way I know to hide
I’m sifting through old photographs
and trying to link them back to me
Never go back to my former self
I’ll never go back to what I used to be
But I’m getting thirstier by the second
seems like I’m losing my grip
the bar lights keep on calling my name
saying “it won’t kill you to have a sip
I'm always getting better,
I'm always getting better,
I'm getting better again
I'm always getting better,
I'm always getting better
Haven't I convinced you yet
It's the only thing that's keeping me up at night
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2. |
Between Me & You
03:10
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I'm writing letters
that I'll never deliver
Saying that I'm sorry
And I'm doing better
I never say I hope you're doing the same
blame it on my reluctant selfish brain
I'm growing tired but I stay awake
I rise early though I'm up so late
but I'm too busy writing novels
No one will ever read
I've made my bed
so I can no longer dream
Am I growing apathetic or maybe I'm pathetic
If you're looking for a reaction
you'll never get it
because I'd rather stay inside avoiding the world
though it is an oyster and I'm hardly a pearl
I thought I'd die some years ago
what a surprise that plan it never came through
fallen to the waysides too many times
looking for a way to make everything right
I'm no saint and I'll never act like one
I'm not afraid of the future that's yet to come
I keep a blank straight face without an expression
so stop looking at me waiting for a reaction
I'll say it first so you'll never have to
everything is fucked between me and you
branched from past selves with substance abuse
just anything at all to make it through
a night without warmth laying next to me
I know we're disconnected and out of reach
still we hold on to what we thought we knew
everything is fucked between me and you
so I said it first so you'll never have to
everything's still fucked between me and you
I'm done with all of that substance abuse
and I found different things to help me make it through
though I still don't have you lying next to me
and we're still disconnected and out of reach
and I'm not holding on to what I thought we knew
still everything is fucked between me and you
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3. |
We Both Know (Renovated)
05:31
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I can't say that haven't been up in arms
or that I haven't had time to grow
because what you see is what you get
when it comes down to everything about me
And I still believe in everything that you say
like "you're more than what you think you are,
like a supernova that forgot it was a star"
but I already think that you're a liar
I guess I'll just pack my bags
and wait on your front porch
for the perfect season to come
and take me away to something more
where I can be what I long to be
where I can finally get some sleep
but we both know that wouldn't be me
yeah, we both know that wouldn't be me
Now here I sit with this lamp and guitar
pouring out every inch of my tongue
words I wish I could've said
but always had a home in being sung
And I still believe in everything that you say
like "nothing's ever quite what it seems,
when you're living in the reality of daydreams"
but I still think that you're fast asleep
I think it's about time I got the record straight
after all these years that I've wasted away
How I could trade this ocean for mountains out west
while the thought of coming back is too much to digest
but I'll run and run when I'm given the chance
and rip down the rear view without a second glance
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4. |
Haven't You Heard
04:22
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Haven’t you heard I’m not sleeping well
I’ll state it now in case you couldn’t tell
the bags that dress these swollen eyes
fill up more and more every night
Haven’t you heard I started sleeping in
Don’t wake me up over anything
Don’t care at all – don’t want to leave my bed
I just need some time to clear my head
Haven’t you heard that I’m doing alright
and haven’t you heard that is just a lie
Haven’t you heard that I’m doing okay
and haven’t you heard don’t trust a word I say
Haven’t you heard I’ve been going out
spending my evenings hitting the town
looking for a cheap thrill just to distract
while trying to keep my mind intact
Haven’t you heard I started smoking again
it’s back to coughing up shit in the morning
but it calms the nerves from the panic attacks
and it beats trying to see if anyone is calling me back
Haven’t you heard that I’m doing alright
and haven’t you heard that is just a lie
Haven’t you heard that I’m doing okay
and haven’t you heard don’t trust a word I say
Haven’t you heard I’m now someone else
I guess I got sick of my former self
So I’ll pretend to be someone new
so I can make up stories with a new excuse
Haven’t you heard I started circling the drain
been looking for a bottle to numb everything
and I’m not breaking down – I’m just freaking out
and I don’t even know what I’m sad about anymore
Haven’t you heard that I’m doing alright
and haven’t you heard that is just a lie
Haven’t you heard that I’m doing okay
and haven’t you heard don’t trust a word I say
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5. |
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Started sending postcards to the old apartment
that we used to get drunk and fall asleep in
and sometimes fight over every-fucking-thing
still embrace one another every morning
but those days seem like forever ago
and I'm not the same person that you used to know
I'm still charming in an asshole sort of way
I remain overly sarcastic in every word I say
If this is my fault I guess I'll clean it up
Look at this mess - look at what I caused
and this wreckage is now a pile of dust
the smoke is now destroying my lungs
Greetings from the aftermath,
signed and dated "good thing you aren't here"
Here it goes I guess I'll catch you up to pace
it's been a bumpy road - but I'm doing okay
and I used to lie about stability all the time
these battles have been blessings in disguise
I guess I really needed was a wake up call
I needed the rock bottom to take that fall
I needed the solitude to figure out myself
while growing a cynical tongue towards everyone else
This is the final nail in the goddamn coffin
I'm done singing about the person I've been
All the shitty things I've done and ever said
I'm not going to look back on it again
I'm doing fine and I'm keeping it that way
I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I've made
And if who I am is who I'll always be
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